“…Something to achieve instead of something to enjoy”
– Judith Hanson Lassiter
This has been my mindset for most of my life. And it’s been an approach to life that has had the proverbial double-edged sword. It’s certainly pushed me to do things to the best of my ability, but it hasn’t allowed me to enjoy my life. I’ve made the comment multiple times about having a shitty life. I even started writing a post about it. But as I was writing, I had to come to the conclusion that idea was simply BS. I was concentrating too much on what I had not achieved, and had not taken the time to enjoy what I was doing, and who I was doing it with. I was focused exclusively on the destination and not the journey.
When I look back at My Life, I can see the the Abundance of it all. Family, friends, yes, even the achievements I’ve made (or haven’t made). Even the Fuller equation* I quote so much shows the Abundance in My Life. Learning, teaching, and doing has been My Life. I suppose I need to add enjoyment of experience, the fascination with gaining knowledge, and the pleasure I find in action to the corollary.
The irony of the philosophy of one of my businesses is not lost on me. As The Successful Gardener, I tell folks to, “ENOY your garden, because THAT’S what makes you a successful gardener!” Yet I couldn’t see that in other parts of My Life. I had made enjoying things conditional. I’ll be Happy if ______. I’ll enjoy My Life when _______.
So what do I do now? It’s easy to say, “Do the stuff that brings you joy!” I’ve said that in the past, but it didn’t take, for several reasons, not least of which was my mindset of conditionality. Letting go of that idea of “I’ll be happy if ____” will be the most effective way for me to enjoy My Life more.
First, I’ll consciously make the decision to Enjoy My Life Unconditionally. I’ll practice detachment from conditional thinking. I’ll add Enjoyment, Happiness, and Satisfaction to My Intentions, the “I AM” statements I use to Create My Life. I’ll allow myself to make mistakes with all this. I’ll be willing to forgive Myself when I fall back into conditional Happiness, because it takes time for me to Create the new thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions that Create new parts of My Personal Mythology. While I am creating these new parts of My Personal Mythology, I’ll stop old conditional thoughts when they occur and repeat My Intentions for Joy and Happiness. I’ll continue to do this as long as I need to, until enjoying My Life Unconditionally becomes second nature. And yes, I’ll do more things that bring me Joy, because, over time, this work will allow me to Enjoy more things!
I’ve used this process over and over to Create My Life. For this effort to succeed, you have to be Patient and Loving with yourself. At the very least, cut yourself a lot of slack if you fall back to old habits. If you need help doing this, get it. There is no shame in asking for help. I’ve done it multiple times.
Write about the process. You can share those thoughts or not, that’s up to you. I have 30-some notebooks full of pain and suffering that changed to Compassion and finally to Unconditional Love. Again, cut yourself a lot of slack while you do this. Don’t judge what you write. Let the pain go right out the pen and on to the paper. Or, if you use a computer, let that junk flow through your fingertips out onto the screen. If you get it out of your head, it’s less likely to end up in your heart.
I have no idea of how long you’ll need to do this. It seems different for everybody. Don’t get hung up on time or effort. Just do the practice. Cut yourself a lot of slack. Change your Life.
Peace, Grace, & Love,
*Buckminster Fuller’s equation for wealth is energy x knowledge = Wealth. My addition, or corollary to that equation is applied energy x (knowledge x experience) = Wealth.